#im not. i know who i am. i spent a good long while being *actually confused* and i already figured it out. and the answer was *not*

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[separatedleoau]

Does draxum think anything other than fighting and training as a distraction?

many things, actually!

Is the reason why One doesn't have friends and couldn't have a pet, they would just distract him from his purpose

Also why he can't play sports, that time would be better spent on training or his studies

Of course! That's what makes it harder for him to disconect from Draxum (and knowing that is what pushes Mikey to try and redeam Draxum)

I'll be sprinkling in some backstory of them as the story goes on, some good some bad

I don't think I have an age set yet? but something between 7-9?

Draxum bought it to him as a gift, and it was too big for him at the time, but he has loved it none the less

He doesn't really have nightmares/dreams, by the time he falls asleep his body and brain are so tired that he doesn't dream anything, if he ever gets a nightmare is just random, non specific stuff that just weirds him out when he wakes up but shruggs it off

Post-redemption/ arc 2 he does have some more specific dreams/nightmares (that im not specifying because spoilers) but is not something he would wake up startled by, if anything is just this

No ipad kid, no friends, no telenovelas

I am a firm beliver that while the way you were raised molds who you are there is also a part of you that is to intrinsically you that is not gonna change, no matter what

One might be different to canon Leo in a lot of ways but he still goes ✨💅 from time to time, because at the end of the day, he is still a Leo

One wasn't constantly locked inside the house at all times, Draxum took him out to run errands with him, mostly so he could learn and run those errands for him later on, for a few years as a child he went to train to a few dojos (before he got perpanently banned from all of them for being so violent) he can go outside and roam around the hidden city on the little free time he has and as long as he follows some pre-stablished rules Draxum set down

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to stay in an important team position?

(For reference: 🎮🎮🤖)

(Sorry for the long post and any bad grammar!!)

So i (16F) am in a robotics team at my school, we take part in a pretty big national and global competition called FIRST.

recently my team got through to national stages, which is a MASSIVE deal, not exactly an everyday occurrence.

Our robot requires two drivers, one for the main body, and one for the arm. The whole time we’ve had the robot working, i have been the arm driver (apart from a couple lunchtime sessions where other people tried it out briefly) and took part in the actual qualifying rounds. I’m also the CAD designer so i designed the claw part and know what i have to do to make it move in the correct fashion and not damage it. My friend Pen (not any real names ofc) is the main body driver and has spent so much time working on the robot no one is disputing her driving.

The problem comes in with two people - Plane and Bolt. I’ve never particularly gotten on with Plane, while ive been kind of neutral with Bolt. There’s no active hostile feelings with us at the moment, but they have been pretty aggressive to people in the past, gatekeeping roles and new people joining - they had a huge fight on the team group chat over it with my friend Keyboard. They also tried to stop Pen (who was originally doing software) and another person in our team (ill call her Remote) from being engineers, but im the end Plane and Bolt did none of the hard work, doing very easy things while Remote and Pen were left doing all the manual work on the body, while i attached the arm.

Both Plane and Bolt decided in the week before the qualifying event that they wanted to drive the arm, and that we should rotate at the event. Thankfully the supervising teacher got involved and told them no, i had put in the time, he guessed maybe they could try do some more practise before the national event. Me and Pen were drivers in that and are now in the top 19% of global drivers, which i am insanely happy about. Despite being ill the day of the event, Plane was the human player, which means you still get to be around the field while not directly touching the controllers or the robot, but can help.

The first session after the event, Plane comes up to me saying how badly she wanted to be the driver and she was going to put in the practise. I told her that I didn’t want to be mean, please don’t take this the wrong way, but it depends on what our teacher says, and really, it’s a matter of skill. Me and Pen have had the time practising together, it’s not a personal attack on you. The next event is only 8 weeks away (a lot of that is holiday) so im really sorry, but it’s not up to me. You’ll have to take it up with the teacher.

She was obviously not happy with this and walked out of the room without saying anything else. I’m panicking that I was too rude but she’s been far more aggressive to me before and I haven’t got super pissed at her for it?

The rest of the team apart from Plane and Bolt agree with me, and I really want to stay driver because honestly I enjoy it. It’s something im good enough at as well, and I don’t super enjoy just sitting in the audience feeling useless.

Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[proserpinesprankster]

Talk about your fantrolls NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALRIGHTY BITCHES. So note that some have more iterations than others and im prolly gonna fix up the less refined ones AS I AM TALKING.

Ill add a cut because theres so fucking much of them.

Feel free to ask more questions i love my sillies!!!

Lets go in order of caste, therefore...

FIRST OF ALL! Nihila Umbrax, the Knight of Void, Derse sway, Burgundy Blood.

Nihila is a burgundy who was less fortunate at wriggling to say the least. They have multiple significant mutations, their eyes are solid red and their height is comparable to that of an older purpleblood, aswell as large mothlike wings. All of this and its seclusion in the woods has led to it being mystified as a local cryptid, the fact that its horns are shaped like antennae does not help the mothman allegations. Beneath all of this Nihila is overall just a big clumsy blind individual, they like to tinker with electronics and usually end up dumpster diving to salvage parts. They were most likely the troll who got SGrub up and working for the group, but its cryptid nature is not at all ceased during the game. Bowkind Strife.

Next we have Squash Tapeko, the Bard of Space, Prospit sway, Bronze Blood.

Squash is a bit of an anomaly in general, being that he operates outside of the typical laws of space and time. Paradox space and Squash get along like two peas in a pod, or more aptly two pumpkins in a patch, while normal space seems to avoid him like the plague. Hes always wearing those tacky shades that have the lines and stuff, and only has one horn which curls like a stem. Anyone accquainted with the laws of paradox space can tell in an instant this goofy goober is like a pumpkin given physical form. He likes to garden, usually growing squashes for later use as plot devices. Sodakind Strife.

Next! Aureum Crisia, the Maid of Light, Derse Sway, Gold Blood.

Aureum has little to no psiioniics despite being a goldblood, she's insecure for obvious reasons. She compensates with over the top optimism, though in truth she is a realist who never waits for things to fall into her hand. She has spent her whole life using charisma and wit to work her way into alternian business, despite the prejudice shown by higher classes. She can be a bit shady sometimes, but she refuses to take any disrespect. Coinkind Strife.

Beitah Bliuta, the Sylph of Breath, Prospit Sway, Olive Blood.

Beitah is close with Nihila, shes shared purr hive with them for as long as they can remember, practically siblings. Their hive is rudimentary regardless, mostly a well decorated cavern. Beitah is overall playful and childish, and the youngest of the group. She is also however a bit feral, for lack of a better word, most view purr as just overall weird for any of these things. Beitah is smaller than most of the others and wears baggy clothes constantly.

Raekie Venaer, the Rogue of Doom, Prospit Sway, Jade Blood.

Raekie likes to call themself a poet, followed by a murder of crow lusii constantly. They didn't favor life in the brooding caverns and instead live in a makeshift treehouse they ended up making after running away. They don't live in the same area as Beitah and Nihila but they do exchange tips through Trollian, and of course Raekie shares their cheesy poetry. Despite the gothic aesthetic Raekie is a terminal optimist, and knows good and well how cheesy their poetry is. Penkind Strife.

Terrun Biyiga, the Thief of Life, Prospit Sway, Teal Blood.

Terrun hates his own caste, plain and simple, mostly because of having lower class friends and realizing he was a part of the problem. He internalizes this hatred as of the start of the session, simply playing along. He has a certain level of internalized self hate, but covers all of this up with a hero complex and cowboy accent. Revolverkind Strife.

Now for a real interesting one, Celare Scurra, the Mage of Mind, Derse Sway, Cerulean Blood.

Celare Scurra is actually not 100% a troll. She always seems oddly well dressed, and never removes her gloves. On Derse, you may hear a whistling of a familiar tune, though back on Alternia it's less well known. Celare Scurra has joined The Midnight Crew on Derse. By some twist of fate, her body has a hint of Carapacian, which has shrouded half of her dreamself in black. She serves as a villain for this story, overall. Bit of a bitch, but unlike Vriska she doesn't flaunt it. Cardkind Strife.

Kirkor Stilis, the Heir of Heart, Prospit Sway, Indigo Blood.

Kirkor isn't the brightest, but he's sure lovable. Hes the only one even close to matching Nihila's height, and serves as Aureum's bodyguard at times as a result, warding off anyone who would threaten her due to his sheer scale. Theres some sort of moiraillegiac tension there, probably. Overall he serves as, well, the heart of the group. Hes also just very clumsy, someone give the 7 foot tall pair some dexterity. Hammerkind.

Manika Dexsue, the Witch of Hope, Derse Sway, Purple Blood.

Manika gets her kicks in a different way from most purplebloods, she usually only dresses up in the full clown getup for formal stuff. Normally shes wearing a dirty jumpsuit and rubber gloves with a purple gas mask, inviting Nihila over for their latest biomechanical experiment. Nibies' arm tends to end up the test subject. Manika is overall just a short mad scientist, and of course besties with Nihila. Sawkind / Needlekind Strife.

Sourim Paetel, the Seer of Blood, Derse Sway, Violet Blood.

Sourim is a socially inept hopeless romantic. He knows how to interact with high troll society... And thats about it. He's all prose and pretty words, with no real awareness of the state of things. He loves rainbow drinker literature, and this was why he first took an interest in Raekie, and then fell HARD. The fact that he has no social awareness makes flirting difficult, aswell as the fact that he takes Raekie's poetry seriously and Raekie doesn't take his seriously. Theyre both idiots with romance. Rapierkind Strife.

Ossico Blakke, Prince of Rage, Derse Sway, Fuchsia Blood.

Ossico is constantly tired, quick to anger if awoken from a good nap. Overall the whole group knows she has some anger issues to work through, but she cares deeply about her friends and is a sweetheart when shes calm. She is a force of raw destruction with a love for all things cutesy and brightly colored, and ducks. Furniturekind Strife.

Nibies Dulcis, Page of Time, Prospit Sway, Cotton Candy Blood.

Nibies was claimed by a purpleblood cult before she could be culled, and was worshipped as the avatar of their god, this was not a good thing for her. Eventually she did make it out and meet Manika, theyve got some sort of undisclosed redrom going on there, noones really sure. Nibies also hates Celare for an unknown reason, and its rather obvious theyve got some blackrom tension. Nibies is silly and over the top to make up for Manika's lack of clown behavior, with a very intense sweet tooth. She probably would have gone entirely mad if not for this group, and Manika and Nihila made her a prosthetic arm to replace the one she lost. Sweetskind Strife.

[v-anrouge]

This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders

Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer

For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.

I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me

That's about it, do have a great day

[devastatinglygreen]

If im being completely honest there’s a big part of me that is afraid that the fallout from LW reveal will damage them to a place I won’t find myself rooting for them anymore. I mean what if he goes back to fake take Colin and there’s a whole Friends-esque ‘we were on a break!’ situation of him being with someone else? What if they call off the engagement entirely and all we end up with at the end of episode 8 is reunited Polin but nothing more? No wedding or babies or anything? I know it’ll be real bad and hurt and I know it needs to happen, I’m concerned about the journey they’ll take from the reveal to reconciliation. How bad do you see it getting? Broken engagement? Estranged until the last bit of episode 8 as other seasons have done? Would love to hear your thoughts!

i spent a while trying to figure out how to answer this without a bunch of spoilers and truthfully, the only thing i have is do you trust the story you're watching? what about the first part of season 3 made you think that's going to happen?

or did a bunch of the sky is falling blogs/twitter users/reddit threads give you anxiety?

and i mean that sincerely. even if they do something you don't particularly like, is your idea of the story stronger than the story itself and it hinders your overall enjoyment? those people are the ones who seem to be the most unhappy with season 3 so far.

also, i am pretty sure i know where the original freak out of the ross and rachel thing came about but luke newton said this:

i don't think he was talking about being on a break.

also they're following the book pretty well, or at least adding a good amount of it in there, and there's a whole plot/character growth for them happens after the wedding. a pretty important one at that.

i meant what i said in that i think the LW fight is going to be painful but i actually don't think the conflict will last all that long, tbh. not to bring up the book like it's gospel but seriously, colin is very aware of how society treats her and it colors the way he thinks of society because of it. he knows he's privileged and well liked and life is easier for him because of it.

eloise is still convinced that her every thought is the right one and overlooks penelope in a lot of ways which gives her sense of betrayal almost a prideful feel to it. colin is both in love with penelope and aware of her in a way that eloise isn't. i'm sure their fight will hurt and be angsty but love isn't a black and white proposition, it's got a lot more layers than that and colin's understanding and love of penelope would play into that i assume.

i suppose i'm just not worried about it. i don't have to like every part of a story to love the end result. i also don't think, after seeing how badly people reacted to every overblown spoiler/rumor, that people should take someone online on their word over the show itself and the people who worked on it.

[obsessedwrhys]

Any ship headcanons for Niru from AFK Journey? Can be fluff, angst, anything :)

|| NIRU DATING HEADCANONS ||

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ fluff, angst (im a sucker for it), mention of death and killing, reader is gn (can be read as merlin or not)!!

For a soul collector, it's expected for him to be the quiet and serious type. That's why falling for you was the last thing he expected to happen.

He was simply doing his duty collecting the souls of a heavily wounded fighter. How he sees things is that it is better to put someone out of their suffering instead of feeding them the delusion of a possible recovery.

He was ready to approach them, his scythe held close in his hand. All he can promise is to make their death swift. And that's when you came in, running from wherever you were.

Seeing the presence of another person, he quickly hid in the shadows. You kneeled beside the man and began doing your magic. An unreadable expression was on his face as he watched you tend to the fighter.

The way you still choose to save the man even though he was on the brinks of death was... naive and yet, funny enough the guy managed to survive thanks to your aid.

Ever since that day, he wouldn't stop thinking about you, of the sight of you saving that man. There was just this indescribable feel of hope in you.

Obviously approaching you was the worst way to deal with his thoughts, that's why he came up with the idea of meeting you in your dreams.

And you didn't pay no mind to that because you yourself didn't know it was an actual person in your dreams talking to you.

Every night, he would always set out on adventures with you. Whether it be lucid dreams or not, he's just glad to be there. Watching you do silly things in your dreams was entertaining enough.

However if you had nightmares, he is fast to protect you. Sometimes he might just hold you in his arms and you'd always wake up in the morning thinking back to how real it felt.

Despite the fun times spent with you, the guilt of not telling you whole truth of who he was still crept up to him. Not to mention how he really felt about you... that's why he decided to tell you when the moment was right.

Scenario ↴ (this ended up being so long)

You ran across the field, enjoying the way the birds all flew away when you came even a step closer. It was another dream of yours but this time it was oddly soothing, no excitement no nothing.

That's when you turned around to see your dream friend sitting under the tree, the shade protecting him from the sunlight. It's a wonder how he manages to appear in all of your dreams but you figured it wasn't anything serious. Besides it's kinda nice having a friend to talk to at the end of the day, even if it's during your sleeping time.

You approached him, his scythe placed on the grass beside him as he's leaned back on the tree. He watches when you decided to sit beside him. Then you let out a sigh.

"Tired from playing?" He asks while you curled up into a ball with your arms wrapped around your legs.

"Just bored..." You said, looking out at the beautiful field of Golden Wheatshire.

"Bored?" He raises his brows out of surprise. This was not the reaction he wanted out of you, after all, this dream was his whole idea.

"Yeah..." You rest your head on your knees. He stayed quiet for a second as he looked at your expression.

Suddenly he looks away and joined you in staring at the golden wheat from afar. He's not showing it but he's clearly having doubts in his mind. Is it a good idea to tell you the truth? What if his friendship with you ends?

After what felt like centuries of hesitation, he finally spoke up.

"I hope these dreams have brought some beauty into your life, as they have for me..." You look at him and you could see a hint of fear in his eyes, like he's afraid to say what he has to say next.

"But I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I am not just a figment of your imagination, but a being that exists beyond the realm of your waking hours. I am a Soul Keeper, a Graveborn, and I have been visiting you in your dreams because I could not stay away..." He pauses, his adam's apple bopping as he swallows.

"During the times we've shared together, I have grown to love every aspect of you, and I can no longer keep my feelings hidden... Your soul is a beacon of light in a world that is often dark and cold. It shines brighter than any star in the night sky, and I am drawn to its warmth like a moth to a flame. I have never felt this way before, and it is a feeling that I never want to let go of..." Slowly he finally locks eyes with you, the muscles on his face are relaxed as he's practically giving you the heart eyes.

You tried to say something back but it felt like your voice was gone, no matter how much you try talking nothing came out. You frown, realising it was one of those dreams again. Seeing you struggle, he lifts his hand to the side of your face to caress your cheek.

"It's okay, I know this is all too much for you to comprehend... I am not a being that's alive... yet you make me feel like I have a soul again. So if you'd please, meet me here again tomorrow at night..." He said and at the same time you could feel your body starting to awake from the dream.

You try really hard not to wake up but eventually you did thanks to the sound of your companion banging on the door and shouting for you to wake up. You let out an exhausted sigh as you ran your hands through your hair. The thought of that mysterious being still in your mind.

Like the usual, you carried out your daily duties. But your mind was constantly distracted by what the dream said. Is it even real? What if it was all in your head? Night time came slower than anticipated, you were on your way back home with your companions until you finally made up your mind. Without giving anyone much of an explanation, you decided to head to the place.

From the distant you could hear everybody asking where you're headed but you just shouted back a simple "I'll be back"

There it is.

A small smile makes it to your face as you anxiously approach the tree. You sat down and looked around, feeling a bit awkward. Ah... did you really expect this to be one of those romances? You sigh.

"Tired again?" A familiar voice spoke that it sent goosebumps across your body. You quickly turn and that's when you saw him, walking out of the shadows to join you.

You never realised how tall he was. Seeing him in real life now felt so unreal.

"Have you given my words some consideration?" He stands before you while making sure he gave you just enough space to not make you feel uncomfortable.

"... I have..." You uttered.

"And to be honest... I'm excited to see what the future holds for us" Your answer catching him by surprise since from your tone, he had expected you to be against the idea. He smiles almost out of relief.

"As am I... Let's take this journey together, one step at a time"

Since he's very connected to spiritual world, you can trust every moment with him to be a moment to be remembered. Even if you guys are just chilling somewhere in the forest, it'd still be a soul fulfilling time.

He finds your height cute, he's like gigantic so there's no way are you ever gonna be taller than him 😭

"Agh... I've been breaking my back trying to kiss you lately..."

"I'M NOT EVEN THAT SHORT"

Now his kisses are gentle and tender. It's the kind of kisses that speaks louder than words. He enjoys running his hand across your back when you guys kiss because he can't help but smile everytime you chuckle from the ticklish feeling.

He enjoys watching you sleep, not in a weird way, it's more like admiration.

You both are laid down on your mattress, you were already fast asleep but he was still awake. He's laid on his side as he observes the gentle curves of your face. The sound of the soft whispers of your breath made him feel he belonged. He smiles slightly, wondering how he was so lucky to have scored you.

PDA? No thank you. Honestly, he does not want to be risk seen in public at all. He's a Graveborn and he doesn't want to risk his relation with you to be the reason you're getting harassed by people.

But it's fine, he doesn't care if everybody views him invisible when you see him clear as day.

However, dating this man isn't all rainbows and sunshine. He has major PTSD from his military days.

I'm talking constant triggers and nightmares about the lives he's failed to saved.

You are always the one to be there for him and he never realised how comforting it is to be able to go through one of his episodes with someone there to remind him of the good times.

Head boops? YES. He just gives me black cat vibes.

Cuddles is a must have. I think he prefers being the big spoon for obvious reasons 🤭

You have once try to hold up his scythe and he was fast to take it from your hands when it was too heavy for you to bear. Thankfully nobody got hurt.

Since he used to be a doctor, he just has this instinct to always make sure you're healthy and well. If you ever get hurt, he's already there to take care of you.

Nicknames? He calls you my flower or my person, maybe even sweetie when he's in a really affectionate mood.

Now just because he's kind towards you that doesn't mean he's not such a big tease. He's so mean with it too.

Also did I forget to mention how flirty he can get?

"Niru, can you help me get the sugar?" You'd ask as you're by the kitchen counter preparing to bake.

You simply wait for him to get it for you when suddenly he cups your face, you bat your eyelashes at him a few times out of confusion.

"We ran out of sugar... how about we use you instead?" He jokes to which you smack his hand away with a laugh.

You probably don't realise but he keeps the letters you write to him everytime he's away. So when he's feeling a bit down, he'd just take it out and read it to make himself feel better. The reminder that he's truly loved.

1000% GRIM REAPER SHI

[rosepetalkitty]

Oh also just because I love watching you infodump about stuff and equally love learning more about people: 11, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22, 26, 33, 36, 38, 39, 40, 41, 44 :)

link to the questions so you can follow along

11: @mnmurmur

13: if you mean kinks, hypnosis and pet play probably but the latter kinda fluctuates. if you mean "things people can do to fluster me", putting a finger to my lips and shushing me or trapping me (like pinned against a wall for example) and forcing me to listen while you mess with my brain

15: a really close call between the first four pirates of the caribbean movies (didn't like the direction dmtnt tried to take things), but i think i have to go with dead man's chest

16: you respect my boundaries, give good aftercare and don't expect dominance from me, even if i get to show it sometimes.

19: i take notes about people! i don't think that's weird though tbh. i have "people cards" in my pkms to keep track of birthdays, who's taller than who, which people are in relationships with each other, etc. and it makes keeping up with social interactions wayyyy easier for me.

21: ooh that's tough... probably the fact that im good at comforting people when they're scared/anxious. or at least im pretty sure that's the case...

22: well, career wise im going into systems administration, but also i wanna pass as a woman, i wanna be fully able to support myself financially, i wanna make more friends who i can actually hang out with instead of just people who come to me for help on coding assignments, and i wanna get more comfortable being at parties and stuff because i love social interaction and just kinda don't know how to get into situations where that happens. sorry for this one being so long lmfao

26: people telling me to do things im already trying to do oh my god it drives me insane. yes, mom, i am actually capable of remembering to do the thing i just told you i was frustrated at the difficulty doing. "well, make sure you do x" is not a helpful response to "im trying to do x and it's a pain"

33: being told im pretty is nice but like honestly, being told that people actually enjoy interacting with me is my favorite compliment because i have a lot of self doubt around that.

36: somewhere urban and walkable, but not stupidly silly expensive. alternatively, puerto rico, see also 41.

38: at first i wanted to be a marine biologist (i really liked dolphins) but then i realized i didn't really like biology, so i decided i was gonna build robots and found out i didn't like all the math involved, and then when i was like. 11? i settled on coding and that evolved into systems administration by the time i was in high school. now it's my major in uni!

39: cookie dough. although i would enjoy it just as much without the ice cream part (i loooove raw cookie dough, some brands make cookie dough that's safe to eat raw and it's everything to me), so i guess uhhhhh tough call between mint and coconut

40: i wish i passed, i wish i was shorter, i wish i had a job, i wish i didn't have anxiety and depression and all the various executive functioning issues, i wish i was the kind of person people would invite to parties, and i wish all the trauma ive collected from my childhood hadn't made a lot of the things i want to enjoy terrifying to me.

41: god, honestly i wish i could move to puerto rico (where my dad is from) because it's a beautiful place and im really emotionally connected to it. i haven't been to the island since i was a kid and i just want to go back :(

44: as of somewhat recently i am an ordained minister. the church of the flying spaghetti monster will ordain you for $60 online, and i can legally marry people as long as i'm dressed as a pirate in (i think?) most states (pennsylvania can't take a joke but afaik the rest won't stop me). i did this on a whim and myrrh and i have agreed that it's probably the best $60 i've spent to date.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

[kkbardd]

hi! popping in quickly.

I absolutely adore your artstyle and your ocs. their personalities and stories are always so interesting, and I look forward to seeing any type of art you post.

If you take a break from drawing asurei, that's completely okay!! doing things with joy is more important than just doing them. I will enjoy whatever you draw regardless— in fact, I regularly go back to that drawing of the unnamed pink haired girlfailure OC and her "friend" daily. i am mayhaps their number one fan.

please continue sharing your stories and ideas!! I adore your characters and designs so much. I am very excited for your toxic yuri freeloader/assassin story.. they are very interesting!!

also saw you did some dialogue in japanese.. do you speak it ? im quite interested in any language so.. apologies if this is off topic ><!

In any case, thank you for continuing to create. I love your art and hope you continue to draw what makes you happy and what you feel motivated to do. I love all your art regardless of subject matter!! in fact it convinced me to to start watching madoka magica :}

best wishes !! hope you're well!!

wahhh isopod !! u always send me the nicest asks when i need them most!! i hope ur doing well ~ although my last post sounded pretty depressing im actually doing pretty well too! im going to the aquarium next week w some friends so im looking forward to that more than anything >:D

I've been reading a lot of short yuri stories by Toyo Totan & Iwami Kiyoko lately and I'm excited to use that inspiration to improve some of my own OC stuff too! (I recommend 'Last Summer Vacation' !)

And yes I'm fluent in Japanese !! I'm actually an officer in my college's JP language community & I used to translate manga on the side !! I'm completely self-taught through videos though, so while my listening and speaking are fluent I actually suck at reading LOL I'm so bad that when I translated manga I'd use my camera's text to speech to do everything...

I'm a huge language nerd too! I watch a bunch of scientific videos/TED-Talks on how our brain learns languages and tips to learn things more efficiently! For example, apparently when you first start learning a language you should never try to speak it right off! If you try speaking before listening for a very long time, your brain just kinda solidifies your verbal pronunciation and it can have long-term effects on not only how you sound, but also how you HEAR sounds! This is also why some think that children learn languages better, because they spend a long time exposed to it while being non-verbal. I love this fact bc I kinda experienced it myself!

I spent about 2 years just watching JP translated videos of people speaking naturally (not videos aimed at foreigners, nor shows that have acting, more like vlog-type stuff!) and only started speaking when exposed to others who could speak it too ! Especially during COVID, I think I was pretty much spending ~80% of my day listening and thinking in Japanese so I was very immersed! And because of that, I'm a little famous in my community for having the best pronunciation 😤 Going to on a trip to Japan & translating for the people who went with me also boosted my confidence a lot! I'll never forget this guy at an izakaya who asked how many years I've been living in Osaka LOL ("three days actually!")

I think the biggest downside though is that once u learn another language, ur first language skills get bad.. i often think up half-sentences and sayings/metaphors in Jap that just sound wrong when you try to translate it back into Eng ;;; i sometimes trail off when i speaking because i forget the english word for certain things, but my friends are now just used to my weird metaphors so!

I went on such a long tangent!! But anyways!! Thank u for always sending me the sweetest asks, I always save them to my phone and I'm pretty sure all my friends know abt u bc I always show them the nice things u say 😭!! And yes!!! Madoka is so good, especially the movie so im excited ur gonna watch it!! I hope u like it!

and finally for their #1 fan <3 :

[justices-blade]

☆ did someone say anniversary munday

from neffi!! thank you :D

celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

repost, don't reblog. only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

happy anniversary, TOA! here's to many more years spent together.

name: leo

pronouns: he/him

birthday: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

where are you from? what is your time zone? the states, but im in europe now and i aint plannin to leave, baybey. CEST!

how long is your roleplay experience? uhhh 13 years of which 11 were on tumblr. the passage of time is horrifying

how were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? deviantart sonic oc self inserts. dont say anything

how were you introduced to TOA? im an avid skimmer of the tellius tag on tumblr and saw toa crop up a few times in the past but the concept of fodlan as a setting fundamentally scared me for a good while because it was the only fe game i wasnt even remotely familiar with. then one winter holiday in 2022 i saw neffis leonardo crop up in the tag and i was like lmfao it would be fucking hilarious if i started writing edward again right and then i blacked out for the next 12 hours and suddenly im here.

do you have any pets? nope. i do want a rat a spider or a snake though. maybe a toad even

what is your favorite time of year and why? autumn... its the cusp of summer and autum weather rn actually and im freaking thriving

what is your IRL occupation? graphic design student (help)

some interests and things you like/enjoy? gaming and writing are the no-brainers, but i also love dnd, drawing and making cosplay. despite being easily scared i also really like horror. also frogs are eternal i love frogs forever and ever

what non-fire emblem games do you play? currently it's mostly warframe, elden ring and arknights with some enstars on the side HAHA maybe xiv'll suck me back in soon < his ass still hasnt played dawntrail

favorite pokemon type & pokemon: favorite type is ghost, but the charcadet line has RICOCHETED to the top of my favorite pokemon list over spiritombs throne LMFAO

tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! i once wrote a poem based off of haurchefant greystone of ffxiv fame for korean school because i could not fucking think of anything else and i won a fucking award (minor) for a competition i didnt even know i was getting myself into????

i also inject frogs into any art assignments that i really dont want to do so i find the motivation to do them lmfao

how did you get into fire emblem? smash bros brawl baybey. i watched my friend play awakening for a bit but i only owned a wii (region locked. american. we were in europe) so i crawled to my dad all sopping wet and pathetic to ask if he could pretty please buy me por while he was on a business trip to i think LA. he brought back rd instead.

what fire emblem games have you played? hilariously exactly the same amount as last time (sorry) (gba, tellius, 3ds, engage)

first & favorite fire emblem games: radiant dawn all the way babyyyy

list your 5 favorite fire emblem characters across the series! chad leonardo edward limstella micaiah. yep

who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? can be any context and reason! leonardo showed his pretty face on the screen when i was 14 and it was over for me

any fire emblem crushes? 😳leonardo showed his pretty face on the screen when i was 14 and it was over for me.

jokes aside im not sure i do crushes but if we're talking about current i think pandreo applies

if you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first s support? who would you s support nowadays? - awakening: stahl or miriel - fates: hinata... or beruka - three houses: jeritza probably i am going to be so real - engage: pandreo.

favorite fire emblem class? are thieves meant to be a gimmick/utility class. yes. do i care? BOY OH BOY. rogue my beloved... (also i inevitably end up doting on at least one archer and anima mage)

if you were a fire emblem character, what would be your class and stats? would you be playable? weirdly magic-heavy thief i think. playable only if he likes your vibes. probably have to recruit him like cath. i'm not even that good i'm best used for meteor/bolting/bersesrk etc bait

if you were a three houses character, what would be your affiliation? golden deer!

if you were an officers academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? boon in faith+axe, bane in riding+heavy armor, hidden talent in authority. no it does not mean i want to be in charge. but alas im reasonably good at it.

if you were an engage character, which nation would you originate from? i thought on elusia for a while but honestly i think its firene for me. i will never say no to citrus.

how do you pronounce TOA? 🤔toe-ah...

current TOA muses: edward, chad, denning

past TOA muses? its just been these three so far baybey

who was your first TOA muse? if you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? [gripping edward really hard as i hold him out towards the camera] this boy has lived in my brain rent fucking free for 11 years he is a vital part of my deciding whether i get fries with my burger order atp

do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? reiterating this from the last time i filled this out: little guys and pensive freaks. i also fundamentally like characters who experience internal conflict of interests between their morality and their loyalty/duty/other social trappings. its tasty!

do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? i love digging deep into lore and piecing it together even if its not immediately evident and a bit fragmented (its the soulsborne enjoyer in me). BUT if i need to do this for a main or major character with a bajillion dialogue and context clues strewn across three playthroughs of a game and i could easily overlook things i would be a little too scared of getting soemthing wrong. "oh x loves orange juice" "WRONG x said as a one off in the middle of this heavy story segment that he hates orange juice and prefers strawberry milk actually" i would fucking die. i would die

what kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? UNRELIABLE NARRATION. shit you look at and go "hm that aint whats going on rn at all". love that shit. i try to not overuse it but i love when it becomes more evident midway through a scene. good stuff. i also love writing impulsive stupid responses and vividly descriptive scenes, but also i love writing affection and devotion in general, even if exceptionally gooey and cavity-inducing, even if ill-advised and misplaced. there's so much more i can add here but i love writing i love writing with people i love writing with y'all. love and peace.

and violence. i used to be scared of fight scenes but now i love thinking in those milliseconds between the violence. flurries and slurries of blood. can i rip more shit apart pretty please

do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man i hope i get to write this one day”? [stuffs my fist in my mouth and screams]

incredibly loosely speaking. i want edward to realise he's been a bit fucked up actually and have to sit in that thought instead of shrugging past it as usual. i want chad to sit with someone and just connect with them so they don't feel as alone (yes this has happened i just love when this happens). i want denning to forcibly feel an emotion, and whether they get better or worse from it might depend entirely on their company.

favorite TOA-related memories? sorry that i keep bringing up edwards 37.5 damage astra during the final fight of apollyon ouranos i just can't stop thinking about it. that's so much fucking damage. that said i loved banding together against the impossible and FUCKING WINNING

present or past tense? uhhh present < just had to go back to check

normal size text, small text, no preference? normal size is a bit easier for me to read, but i have no real preference

got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 either you know my delusions or you don't . at any rate i don't think my rosters going to move anytime soon

[rubyreduji]

[fanboy hoshi fluff drabble | gn!reader | 694 words]

soonyoung is practically bouncing off the walls, he can’t contain his excitement as he enters the concert venue, he can’t believe that he’s actually here, about to see SHINee live

his lightstick is clutched tightly in his fist and he practically runs to his seat, like the quicker he gets there the sooner the show will start. he splurged on floor seats, wanting to get the best view he possibly could, and maybe even a chance to interact with the boys

while rushing to his seat soonyoung bumps right into you, knocking you over and making you drop your own shating star on the ground. the sound of cracking hurts even soonyoung's heart

"i'm so sorry!" he quickly exclaims, helping you off the ground. he quickly notes how cute your outfit is, but keeps his focus on your now broken lightstick. "here, let me buy you a new one"

before you can even say anything, soonyoung is tugging you towards one of the merch booths set up in the venue. the line has already started to grow and soonyoung stands anxiously at the end of the line, finally turning towards you

"sorry once again, i didn't meant to knock into you. you see i've been a fan for forever and this is my first concert and -"

"don't worry about it, honestly," you tell him with a smile, "really you don't even have to get me a new one, but thank you"

you stick your hand out and introduce yourself and soonyoung does the same, shaking your hand quickly

you two stand in the line, talking about SHINee and yourselves as you wait and then like no time has passed at all you two are at the front of the line

soonyoung buys you a new shating star and himself a hoodie (he thinks he deserves it after waiting in line for so long anyway). you also take the time to buy yourself a t-shirt, slipping it on over the long sleeve you're already wearing

after buying your goodies you and soonyoung move to take your seats, and then soonyoung realizes you two are going in the same direction

miraculously, you have the seat right next to soonyoung's, and he doesn't know if he should be embrassed or excited. you seem sweet and nice to be around and as much as a shawol as he is, but soonyoung still feels bad about breaking your lightstick, even after buying you a new one

you seem to be happy about your seat partner though, so soonyoung doesn't dwell on it too much. it doesn't matter anyways, because the concert and starting and soonyoung can barely breathe as he gets his first glimsp of the five boys in person

the whole concert is spent screaming, jumping, and fumbling around with his camera. you're right next to him, screaming and jumping as well as you two fan over your favorite band, even clutching on to each other in excitement at some points

when the concert is over soonyoung's throat hurts and his feet are sore but he couldn't be happier. as he goes to leaave he hesitates, considering asking you for your number or something. he doesn't have many friends who are shawols and if he's being completely honest, he definitely thinks you're cute

he stares at you for a moment, contemplating, but before he can say anything you beat him to it

"would you happen to be from around here?"

"uh, yeah! i am"

"cool, because i'm not and im like starving right now and was wondering if there are any good places to eat around here?" you say it like you're asking for suggestions, but also implying something slightly more and soonyoung grins at you, his heart hammering in his chest, and this time it's not caused by SHINee

"i was actually just about to go grab a bite to eat as well, if you'd like to join me?"

you grin back "that sounds perfect"

you and soonyoung leave the venue together, and while soonyoung wasn't expecting to gain a date out of the concert, he can't even be surprised, of course SHINee can work miracles

[redactedgender]

— ELLIOTT BA SPOILERS —

this is me liveblogging the entire ba. theres lots of screaming. youve been warned.

18+ only obviously

FIRST OF ALL. called this. i KNEW this fucking audio was coming. literally called it. second of all, this is my first time liveblogging so idk if thisll be good or not ahgjsdfkl

OOO DREAMSCAPE NOISESS. i love how twinkly they are

him teasing themmm :(( i love themb

"we dreamwalkers call it 'the ingress'" love how erik drops dreamwalker lore in this ba thats so funny

elliott is so giggly and sweet sounding :((

"yknow, i can judge you on the fact that you have a dream about shopping at a grocery store... [laughs] no, no i will never let you live that down" STOPPP thats so cute him referencing his first audio with them awwweeee

eriks voice acting has gotten so good. like the stutters and imperfections feel like genuine instead of scripted, like hes actually elliott actually floundering for words a little. its sogood

(are you okay?) "no no, i'm- i'm okay" STOPP literally what did i say before. it sounds so genuine and like real

"y'know how some days you just feel kinda... off?" mood king. but also. is this bc of the memory modification brachium did?

"... i dunno. it's just- it's been kind of a weird day ... i mean, i don't even know what i'm talking about ... like you know when you have a bad dream, and even though you know its a dream ... and it shouldn't have any impact on you, but the rest of the day you feel off" HEY NOW. HEY NOW.

"i mean i'm not a huge people person most of the time, maybe its that, maybe hanging out with aaron and his partner drained my battery a little" honestly if i didnt know what the deal was id be like yeah same

"i know we didnt have any dreamscaping planned tonight but i... i didn't really wanna spend the night alone in my head if thats okay. it- it almost feels like... like i miss you?? or like i had been missing you?" BRACHIUM WHEN I CATCH YOU BRACHIUM. SHUT UPPP OH MY GOD :(( thats actually so fucking sad and sweet. like his body and his brain remembers missing sunshine so fiercely but the memories arent there so he just feels off-kilter and like he misses them for some reason WHAT THE SHIT :((

"you havent had a work trip for a while, we spent all night together. you're literally laying next to me in bed in the waking world, like, you're right there! like i could wake up and poke you right now" he is so goofy and silly but not in a guy way and i really appreciate that

"[im a little tired] and maybe a little sappy. i guess i just hadnt gotten my fill of you today" HEHEHEHE...

THEYRE KISSINGGGGGG

"i just wanna be with you rn, and i dont know why ... no, no thats not what i meant!" I LOVE HOW SUNSHINE RIBS ON HIM :(( like they really are just besties who fell in love

i love the way elliott kisses sunshine. if that makes any sense dhjgfshd

"i love being with you [kiss] in dreams, in reality, anywhere. if its you, im happy." when is it my turn god.

"im just the boy next door... the boy next door with a brain that can handle managing the near infinite minutia of an entire dreamscape, flawlessly under pressure, at a labyrinth black certified level. yknow, simple stuff like that" WOW YOUR HONOR IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

"i mean it really is simple when it comes to you. you're there? im happy. you're not? im not. and right now i could use some happy" theyre the cutest couple god im ill abt them

"the dreamhouse- pardon the pun" IM SO EMOTIONAL OVER THAT WAIT :(( HE CALLS THE HOUSE HE MADE FOR HIM AND SUNSHINE THE DREAMHOUSE

"ba-dum-bum!" im making out with him rn

"yeah, well, if you didn't like a dork, you wouldn't have stuck around. cuz i am one, through and through. and you knew that; you've known that as long as you've known me" and when i throw myself into the sea then what. then what

"starting us in the bedroom is a perfectly logical start to the dream" its also a good starting point for me to rail you-

GOD THE WAY ERIK DOES MAKING OUT... like the softer kisses to start, how they slowly start getting deeper as they get more into the kiss..... incredible

THE WAY HE MAKES SURE SUNSHINE ISNT FORCING THEMSELF TO FUCK CUZ HE PUT THEM IN THE BEDROOM :((

i just realized we're gonna get updated elliott Noises. ogh. im so excited

sunshine really does love taking care of him :((

WAIT ARE THEY BLOWING HIM??? THIS IS THE LASKO BA ALL OVER AGAIN. ERIK GIVE US LIKE. SOMETHING TO KNOW WHEN THE LISTENER IS GOING DOWN ON THE SPEAKER DHFJGAFHGS

god his NOISES. hes so vocal n i love it

I LOVE WHEN THE SPEAKERS CALL THE LISTENERS BABY AS A SECOND PET NAME ITS SO CUTE. also. elliott just has the cutest noises wowow

"can i hold your head?" THATS HOW YOU DO IT FOLKS. also babygirl you can pull my hair any day of the week

I LOVE HOW BREATHY HE IS??? also some of his noises are deeper than i wouldve expected from him but i love it so much :flushed:

HE WAS STANDING THAT WHOLE TIME??? GODDAMN SUNSHINE

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT WAS THAT NOISE HELLO???? THE STUTTERING RASPY MOAN????? WHAT THE FUCK????? THAT WAS THE HOTTEST NOISE EVER WHAT THE SHIT

i just KNOW hes holding sunshine by the head not to control the pace but to steady himself and to have something to hold onto while they suck his dick like a pro

WE LOVE A MAN WHO KISSES THEIR PARTNER AFTER ORAL SEX

"oh god the things you do" SIR IM ON THE FLOOR RN WHAT WAS THAT FUCKING VOICE???????

"is it too bright?" mans has the sun reacting to his emotions thats so cool and also hot

"im looking at you... you look so incredible with the horizon behind you" im going to propose if you keep talking to me like that

"i got the idea from that trip we took up to the lake" ERIK GIVE US SOME FLASHBACKS TO THEIR CAMPING TRIPS PLEASE i would love one where theyre not dating yet but theyre obviously dancing around it god thatd be so good

"all these oranges and reds and purples... eyes shining in the waning light" hes so romantic

"hey... i have an idea" oh?

"howd you like to see that sunset up close?" ARE WE GONNA FUCK IN THE SKY??

"do you trust me?" YES YES YES

THE WAY HE IMMEDIATELY GRABS ONTO SUNSHINE TO REASSURE THEM AND SAYS THAT HES GOT THEM :((

ARE THEY IN A CLOUD???? WHAT THE FUCK???

"you deserve it... everything beautiful and wonderful, you deserve it." god hes so good at making sunshine believe they have worth in this life :((

i love how you can tell when erik is kissing someones lips vs when hes kissing their skin. the noises are so subtle yet distinct and its so good at helping you realize where things are happening. but also... sunshine where are your clothes sjdfhkg

"d'you-do you like it?" HIS LITTLE HESITATION LIKE HES WORRIED SUNSHINE DOESNT LIKE THE DREAM STOPPP :(( hes so fucking cute i cant stand it

"lay back... let the clouds hold you" ok real talk i have a bad phobia of heights (specifically the edge of things) but i would brave my phobia if it meant a hot dreamwalker was going to fuck me in the clouds

"sunset skin... my sunshine" I AM ON THE FLOOR AGAIN THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING :(( i love when he says "my sunshine" CUZ THEY ARE HIS SUNSHINE IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!!!!

"can i?" YOU FUCKING BETTER GO DOWN ON ME DUDE

HIS FUCKING GIGGLES?? "okay... then spread 'em a little bit" HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT AND TEASING ALMOST WOWOWOW

erik knows how to make gender neutral oral sex work very well. im genuinely impressed

"so good..." sorry but if someone said that after going down on me i would marry them on the spot

"can i?" YOU BETTER FUCK SUNSHINE RN IM GOING CRAZY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR LIKE FOUR FUCKIN YEARS

GOD HIS NOISES?????????? THEYRE SO LIKE. ROUGH. N ALMOST FERAL. AND SO APPRECIATIVE????

"just a sec... god it feels so good... just to be inside- all the way... together" WOOOOOOOW WOW WOW WOW IM SO LONELY HOLY SHIT HJGSDAHJ

"yeah i just wanna feel it for a sec... all of it... all of you" hes so lustdrunk rn its craaaaaazy woooooow. i mean considering this is the first time theyve fucked in days after the events of the balance (not that they remember it) im sure it would feel overwhelming

"lemme see your neck" god n the way he marks them up...... plus its a callback!! we love a callback!! technically its a callback to two diff things, his first ba and his "dreamwalker bf helps you in your dreams" when theyre on the beach!

"oh yeah.... moan for me" HIS VOICE. HJDFGKFGHKDJ!!!!!!!! ./////. "yeah? its just us, and the sky; let it all out." him encouraging them to be loud?????? what the fuck????????

pleasuredrunk elliott is something i knew i needed but didnt know i needed this badly holy shit

"you look so incredible.... no, no, not just the sunset. the sunset's just casting a light on whats already there" WHOAAAAAAA. THATS SO???? ROMANTIC?????? HOLY SHIT???????

"all the imperfections are what make you perfect. make you real... warm, and real, and here... with me" WOW THATS. YEAH. OW. THAT HURTS A LITTLE

I LOVE WHEN HE CALLS THEM MY SUNSHINE HEHEHEHE

god his NOISESSSSS i cant get over them. he sounds so obsessed with sunshine its crazy.

"no- no let me, let me... i wanna be the one to make you come" AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

i love when the speakers jerk off/touch the listener to help get them close. like its so intimate and hot.

n the noises of him touching them,,,

"yeah, yeah, get loud," SIR??? SIR???????

"feeling me while im..... in you..." the way his voice like dissolves into pleasure is craaaaazy. erik what are you fucking to make those noises??

"throw your head back... let the clouds hold you while i fill you up-" WHOAAAA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JGHDFKFGDHJKSDGKFHJDKGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"youre tightening down...... now?... yesss, yes sunshine, come for me, come-" OH MY FUCKING GOD??????????????

HIS NOISES????????? FUCK ME????????????

AND THE WAY IT SOUNDS LIKE HES PANTING INTO THEIR NECK/CLOSE TO THEIR SKIN,,,,,, GOD. GODDDDDDD.

AND THEN HE BRINGS THEM BACK TO THE BED. HIS FUCKING SHUSHING AND THE "no its okay, i got you" GODDDD

their aftercare kissing n cuddling. wow :((

"i love you so much, baby... you make me feel so good... you feel so... right. its just easy with you. its real with you, even here, where none of it is.. real. its us. and that makes it- real ... in my arms.. its real." THATS SO FUCKING SWEET WHAT THE FUCK

"i never wanna have to miss you again" SHUT THE FUCK UP ERIK IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

"we're forever" THEY ARE THEYRE SO FOREVER LIKE THEYRE GONNA GET MARRIED AND BUILD THAT DREAM HOUSE AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE ERIK :(((((((

"i love you sunshine" mirroring the end of his first ba I WILL CRY

and the really soft kisses as the audio fades out :((

WOW that was. wow. i mean. what else can i say dude????? that was so fucking good. best ba we've had in easily awhile. holy fuck dude

[jordisblogg]

never here

note: has there been millions of stories like this? yea. & do i eat em up every time? YES

summary: after being in her lab for so long and neglecting you, you had finally confronted shuri about it, reminiscing now about what had happened to your relationship, not knowing that shuri herself, was doing the same.

pairings: shuri x black!fem!reader

warnings: angst, smoking🍃,fluff & suggestive themes at the end

translations: ndiyacela (please), uthando (love)

——————————————————————————

you sighed as you stared up at the ceiling, your body sprawled out on the bed that you and shuri shared, but what now seems like only you stayed in since shuri started being in her lab more. when you’d wake up, she would be gone. when you went to sleep, she would be gone. you couldn’t even remember the last time you both had sex.

it’s been weeks since you’ve spent actual quality time with her. i mean, yeah, you’d see her every once in a while, when you’d check up on her— when you used to check up on her—forgot to say you’ve stopped doing that since she got upset with you the last time you went in, real upset. you shook your head to yourself as you replayed what she said to you in your mind.

“y/n, i told you. you don’t need to keep coming in here! i don’t need you barging in here every 2 seconds telling me what i need to be doing!”

you couldn’t do anything but look at her like she was stupid then. was she seriously upset over you checking up on her?

“you mad … cause im making sure you eat? stay hydrated? you mad at me over that?! shuri, if i didn’t come in here you’d probably be dead— i mean- you don’t even think about taking care of yourself when you’re in here. you’re lucky i do it for you!”

“i’m not a damn child!”

“shit, coulda fooled me. you get mad when i feed you, you get mad when i when i try to get you to sleep, you get mad when i try to spend time with you! i mean i know you be having stuff to do but could at least give me SOME attention? i haven’t seen you in forever..” it was all flooding out now. everything you’ve been keeping in for those past weeks.

“everything doesn’t revolve around you! i have royal duties and projects to attend to, meaning i can’t have you clinging onto me like a leach all day!”

“a leach?!”

you sat up and rubbed your hands down your face. the more you thought about, the situation the angrier you got. you needed to relax.

you rolled up one of the spare blunts you kept in your room and searched around for a lighter. once finding it in a drawer in your bathroom, you headed outside onto the balcony. flicking the lighter a couple time before the joint lit, you licked your lips before putting it between them, inhaling a good amount and letting it marinate before exhaling.

the whole reason why you two were fighting was fucking stupid to you. but you weren’t going to say anything first. to you, your reasoning was logical.

about 5 minutes passed before you heard your name being called.

“y/n?” you didn’t reply, only putting the half finished blunt between your lips once more because you knew who called you.

shuri appeared beside you, leaning over the ledge with you. you kept looking forward though.

“sthandwa please, will you at least look at me?”

you took your time before you turned your attention over at her. your bored eyes stared into her regret filled ones.

“what shuri”

“i just wanted to talk to you. i want— i need to apologize. please” she begged, taking the blunt and putting it into the nearby ashtray and putting your hands in hers.

she didn’t know if what she was about to say was going to get through to you because of the state that you were in but she was going to try anyway.

“y/n, i can’t even begin to express how sorry i am. it’s just been hard, dealing with my brother and mother’s death. then working on new inventions to protect wakanda while ruling it at the same time. it’s a lot.”

you didn’t speak, letting her know that she was free to continue.

“but that doesn’t excuse how i’ve been treating you, and for that im truly sorry. you’re so precious to me and i shouldn’t have been taking you for granted” she brought your hands up to her face and placed 2 short kisses on your knuckles as she looked at you with those big beautiful eyes. you felt yourself relaxing into her touch, not realizing how touch starved you’ve been for the past few weeks.

“ndiyacela, forgive me”

you couldn’t help but cave. you took your hands out of hers and placed them on her cheeks, bringing her face closer to yours and kissing her softly. it was slow and passionate, shuri could feel all of your love pouring into it. she almost didn’t want to let go.

“i love you shuri, but i can’t help you if you don’t let me in. i wanna be able to help you through your grief. i know it was a whole lot from losing your family but pushing the people who are trying to help you isn’t going to make it better. trust me”

“please mama, don’t shut me out” you whispered before shuri wrapped her arms around your waist and placed her face in the crook of your neck, bringing you impossibly closer to her.

you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as she started littering kisses on your face and you shuddered when you felt her slim, cold hands reach under your hoodie and rub over your skin.

“come on, you blowing my high!” you giggled

“ just let me make up for the lost time baby..” she says, lifting her face from yours and trailing her way down your neck.

a/n: i got an obsession with the reader calling shuri mama/ma

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

l, i was wondering if u could give me some suggestions on an issue i am facing.. its been 6 months since me n ex broke up (on winter solstice nonetheless..) for very good reasons after 3 yrs, we really were doing some damage to each other for a while , triggering each others core wounds like Crazy. i reaally was in a bad place for the whole last yr of it and now really do feel so much better being out. however we lived together for yrs and they were who i was closest to for so long, n we were each others first love once before at 16/17. i felt just anger for months, but now its residing and i just feel soooo tied to them still… i do not want to get bacj w them, but so much of my time now is spent in deep nostalgia of the happy/quiet moments, wanting the good of those times back even tho logically i know its Impossible. wishing i could go back and do it again. wanting to reach out even tho i know it would only be detrimental. i was wondering if u have any tips on balancing this miss with continuing to move on, as i know i must finally do so fully — i feel the anger was keeping me moving forward, but now that its waning i fear getting stuck in this state. i feel as tho this is why we got back together to begin w. anyhow thank u as always fer ur infinite wisdoms x dog bless

hello <3 i understand... both of us had big endings at winter solstice lol what kind of assertive force was in the air back then i wonder ! here's my advice althoug it seems to me u already know what's right for you so it's sort of just reinforcement of your feelings ---

first thing i want to get out of the way is that if you and this person were meant to be together i believe the breakup never would/ve happened & there would've never been a single doubt in your mind about this partnership. I can say this after spending a few years living with slimbo, like, We endlessly grow closer, our bond is fully forged in stability and peace and understanding. There is not a single moment in the past few years of being in their presence that i've had a single doubt of our longevity. We do not make each other's life hell in even the slightest sense. if something comes up we work it out within that day and it never carries over to the next. And that rarely occurs.

Previously in life i did not know such harmony could exist, but now that i know, i look at all my old relationships like damn, i can't believe i ever thought that person could've been "the one" when we clashing so often. And i mean it's not like i could've known better because for most of us, we grow up in families that face much conflict, you just think Oh this is normal right? People fight and thats normal, there's tension and it's normal. Well now i know it is NOT normal and when you find someone who's really ready to meet you where you're at it creates harmony, true harmony, even if external conflict arises it brings you closer, you can solve any problem together, you're on the same level.

(Also i'm not sure how old you are but i think it's super rare to find this type of harmony until a little later in life because youth is confusing & people are still figuring themselves out, gaining the maturity it takes to be a reliable partner and whatnot).

But what i feel is happening for you and this person is that you went through all these formative experiences together, and maybe you're missing the rush of that more than you miss the actual person. Like maybe you're just bored xD that's not meant to sound harsh im just being real. boredom often leads to nostalgia. a little nostalgia here and there can be fun & transmuted into new experiences but being overly absorbed in nostalgia is not conducive to growth, only stagnation. do not fall victim to halo effect just because you're bored or lonely!!

If you were to get back with this person it would 1) block the way for someone who truly matches your frequency to come through, and 2) Likely your repressed anger and resentment towards that person would begin to infiltrate the relationship again pretty quickly. It's not fair to them, nor is it fair to yourself, it would only prolong the suffering.

So i think to move forward from this experience you could try a few things. Firstly i think you're being called to really go inwards, figure out why you feel bored right now, why you feel something is lacking in your life when you have to be alone? Learn how to fill your time with more things you enjoy, becoming stronger in your self concept through introspection, hobbies, leisure, just having fun by yourself. When you can do stuff like this it actually makes you very attractive & radiant in a way that magnetizes people who are also pretty solid in themselves. U just can't really have a good healthy relationship unless both of you are solid and Know Yourselves like thats just a universal truth.

And another thing i'd consider trying is like, meditations where you envision yourself cutting the chord that energetically binds you to this person from your past. That is if you want to get a little woowoo with it. But i really believe in the effectiveness of those exercises. Don't rush into it, just like, when you feel truly ready, let it go. You can still hold your memories and honor your experience with them without wanting them to be in your physicality again. There are exes who i haven't spoken to in yeeeears who i actually can look upon much more fondly now that i've let go. i forgive them and wish them well but it's nice to be distant.

don't be afraid of change~~~don't be afraid that a better match will never come along for you. I didn't foresee anything about the romance i have now before it happened. I knew i wanted to find a love that felt balanced and fulfilling but not All-Consuming. by a total random sequence of events, my vibe was met. You just never know whats around the corner ^^ The more open you are to change, the more change will find you. But you know going back to that person would just be a needless repeat of an old cycle. it's ok to still cherish them and keep moving forward. it's good you're able to feel less angry towards them now, that shows growth & maturity. But dont let it drag you back in !!

i hope this resonates and doesn't sound too preachy lol . Just hate to see someone fall back into Old HABITS. For your sake and the sake of your old partner. letting go is a crucial skill to learn in this life. Best of luck to you anon, you sound like a good person who wants to do their best & that will carry you far in life & love.

Sincerely

PMD9 <3

[luvrodite]

okay my neighbor!jason and roommate!jason thots are going wild right now bc I feel like both of their slow burns end so differently. Like yours and neighbor!jason’s relationship is a slow and steady pining that is more sweet and the catalyst is a “why don’t you just stay here?” after you try to watch all of the lord of the rings movies in one night. and it’s all cuddles and soft kisses and making breakfast and morning sex bc you’re just that comfortable and close at that point you don’t even care you’re just glad it’s finally happening.

meanwhileeee you and roommate!jason have spent so long tiptoeing around each other and suppressing your feelings, convincing yourself the other doesn’t feel the same that it almost ends in a fight of “well how do you think I feel watching you go out with other people?/hearing you get off in the other room?/knowing it’s not me?” and then a “well maybe I wish it was!” and the hottest and filthiest make out session and sex ever known to man and also god.

have a good day/night🫡

nonnie im so glad u get it.

also minors dni + have your age in your bio if you interact

like with neighbour!jason i just imagine it being very luke and lorelai esque, where he's just that guy. like he's your (i imagine him a little older, maybe late twenties/early thirties) hot as shit neighbour who you can always always count on. because he's a good guy. he sees you in the hall and he says hello and you guys talk and hang out occasionally but it's never beyond platonic even though sometimes you feel like he might be flirting with you and sometimes he gets a little quiet when he looks at you. and you grow closer and closer, and you get comfortable enough to blur that line when you flirt with him in the mornings to get a reaction, you feel less inclined to hide your quirks etc. because he's jason. he's wonderful. and you're going to be so happy for whoever he ends up with but at the same time, the thought of someone coming into your lives–because he's part of your life now! he's your friend as much as he's your neighbour. he's seen you cry and he's seen you messy and he's seen you when you've just woken up. the thought of there being someone else makes you a little envious, a little sad. he goes from being the hot guy next door to someone you genuinely care about and love, and that complicates it, because love is scary and you don't want to ruin one of the best relationships in your life. (neighbour!jason is just waiting for you to come to terms with it because he already knows what he wants, age has made him steady, left him assured of himself. but he won't make any moves until he's certain that you're certain)

and with roommate!jason. oh my god. exactly that. i spoke about this with one of my moots but i imagine that the way roomie and jason end up together is extremely messy. they're both very explosive and young(er) and have so much learning to do even if they are adults living on their own with their own jobs/studies. like there's obviously that comfort of being friends but also, there's that tension between them because you're both so attracted to each other and aware of each other, but you still navigate yourselves like you're just roommates when underneath the surface there are so many feelings just simmering, simmering, simmering. you go on dates, jason pretends he isn't extremely jealous, you have to bite down your own envy when other girls eye him up at the store, he's heard you touch yourself–has jerked off to you. it all bubbles up. i imagine it takes a while before you guys end up officially together because you do it backwards. roommate!jason turns to roommate with benefits!jason who eventually turns into roommate/boyfriend!jason. you guys fuck and you know you've crossed the lines of your arrangement from the beginning but feelings are again. so vulnerable. and scary. so you keep quiet until once more someone gets jealous and the actual, deeper feelings come out.

anyway i am rambling. but thank you for sending these thoughts in. i've missed roommate jason and neighbour jason (even though i'm writing a fic for the former atm) and will take any opportunity to talk about them